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Shared WitnessingTM
(CLICK
HERE
for a
description of the process)
(CLICK
HERE
for
in-person and phone groups)
Developed by Eric Sucher and inspired in part by the work of Eckhart Tolle,
Shared WitnessingTM offers a pathway
to opening our
hearts and becoming fully available to All of Life, moment to
moment.
A profoundly beautiful, nourishing practice, Shared
WitnessingTM cultivates our capacity to remain present & Be With everything
we experience, just as it is. We have found that holding a "witness" perspective
-- observing our own internal experience
(thoughts, body sensations, emotions, etc.) and then briefly reporting that
experience to the group -- often brings us into a
space of spacious, compassionate acceptance for All That Is, that participants
consistently say is among the most wonderful
experiences of their lives.
Although the heart of the practice is to both Witness our
experience and to allow ourselves to HAVE our experience, just as it is --
with no agenda or intent to change anything during the time of the practice --
paradoxically we often find that this practice transforms
or dissolves even our most extreme pain. (For more about transforming and
dissolving pain, CLICK HERE.)
Perhaps loveliest of all, as we practice over time we
find ourselves more and more able to meet with our own and others' upsets,
defenses, fears, and constrictions with compassion, presence, and heart-centered
choice.
If you value living a heart-open, heart-centered path...
If you long to connect more deeply and more tenderly with
yourself and those you love...
If you wish to expand the experience of Peace on Earth for
yourself and others...
Shared WitnessingTM may be a pathway to
support the real-ization of these dreams in your everyday life. (It has been for
many of us.)
The Shared WitnessingTM
PROCESS
- Sit quietly in a
comfortable position. (You can lie down, just be aware that you're more
likely to fall asleep.) Take a few deep breaths, letting the air fill your
belly as much as possible. Feel the sensations in your body.
Listen to the thoughts that go through your mind. Feel the emotions that arise.
Report on what you notice (CLICK HERE for
reporting guidelines). After some time, you
may sometimes notice that your mind has fallen silent, and you feel peaceful,
whole,
and complete. There may be a feeling of
ease and spaciousness, gratitude, joy, etc. You may wish to notice this
experience; you
may wish to report on it; or you may
wish to simply sit silently and enjoy it. All choices are valid. (See below for
reporting examples,
and suggested guidelines for
your meeting organization.)
(CLICK
HERE for suggested guidelines for number of people, length of time,
taking turns, and creating a safe space)
REPORTING
GUIDELINES:
Notice that there's a part
of you that directly experiences the thoughts or feelings, and there's also an
Observer or
Witness part of you that does the Noticing. Feel what it's like to be in
this Observer/Witness/Noticing perspective, and what
it's like to be in the Experiencer perspective. Practice shifting from
Observer/Witness/Noticing to Experiencing.
When reporting, use "framing" language that helps you keep your
Observer/Witness/Noticing perspective. You might
report what you're observing by saying, "I'm noticing my body feels ..." or "I
notice thoughts about..." or "I notice I'm feeling [an
emotion -- annoyed, happy, curious, etc]...." Some people say, "There is
a feeling of..." or "I'm having thoughts about..." or
"I see that I'm feeling/thinking..." It's usually best not to begin a report
just by saying, "I'm thinking..." or "I'm feeling..." without
some framing/distancing language in front of it, since that's how we usually
talk about our direct experience.
When you notice you've shifted back into directly experiencing your
thoughts/feelings/body sensations, simply gently
bring yourself back to your Observer mode. It can be very easy to get caught
up in and/or identify with our direct experience --
that is, to think that our thoughts, feelings, or body sensations are "true" or
"right" or that they are "us." This is how we've been
taught to see our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. But, we are not these
things; they are like passing weather, changing
at a whim as the result of (for
example) what we ate, what we thought someone said, or how we interpret
something that's
happened.
When reporting, do your best to speak from the Observer/Witness/Noticing
perspective. Often we interpret this guideline
to mean that we need to strive to "do it right;" we may feel our bodies tense,
or feel anxious, or think "I've got to do this right."
Use these experiences as part of your practice: simply move into your Observer
mode and notice all the things you experience in
reaction to this guideline, or to how other people are doing their reporting.
Each witnessing report takes
only a few seconds, and sentences are usually fairly short.
If you find that your reports are
lengthy or involved, you've probably slipped out of witnessing mode and into
analyzing or sharing your direct experience. Bring
yourself back to a place of detachment, where you're simply noticing and
reporting what's coming up.
If you find yourself analyzing
what you're saying
to figure out how long your sentences are, or how long your reports last, or
how "good" a report it is compared to what others are doing, simply bring
yourself back to a place of detachment and back into
your Observer mode, and report on what you're noticing.
If you notice thoughts
criticizing or judging yourself or others for anything, you can simply notice and report on
that, too.
*When it is done from the Observer/Witness/Noticing perspective* it's often
very powerful and transforming for people to report
their negative thoughts or feelings towards each other. When noticed and
shared from this perspective, the other person isn't
seen as the cause of our experience, they are merely seen as what stimulates or
activates something within us. The experience
itself is ours, arising from within us.
Sometimes people have very
intense experiences; let them have their experience. If someone cries or is angry or feels
embarrassed, avoid conversing with them, trying to comfort them, or trying to
change their experience. Stay with your own
experience, and if you're moved to, report on that.
Reporting Examples -
§
I notice my
heart (or chest) feels like there's a weight on it.
§
I notice the
thought, "Am I doing it right?" and I notice feeling embarrassed
§
I notice I'm
feeling afraid and stupid, and there's a thought "You never know what you're
doing." I notice I'm feeling surprised;
I'm noticing a realization: I say "You never know what you're doing" to
myself all the time.
§
I notice a
feeling of gratitude and relief, and I notice tears
§
I notice
I'm feeling annoyed by what Sarah said.*
§
I notice
a feeling of concern for John; I notice an impulse to give him a hug.*
§
I notice
the waistband of my pants feels too tight.
§
I notice
I want to tell Katie she doesn't need to feel embarrassed.*
*NOTE: One of the essential aspects of
Shared WitnessingTM is staying focused on our own experience.
In particular,
in this practice, we understand that while what others say and do may
stimulate uncomfortable feelings in us
(e.g., an
impulse to comfort or correct, impatience, annoyance, judgment), we understand that our stories and
interpretations,
personal history, beliefs,
old (previously avoided) pain, or defenses are what actually cause
our discomfort. We
understand that our discomfort is
an indication that something within us has inadvertently become
disconnected from
Life. Click here
for more on
discomfort, pain, and transforming/dissolving these.
Shared WitnessingTM
GROUPS - SUGGESTED GUIDELINES
As always, do what serves you
and your community. Only you can discern what will support you in whatever
it is you're wanting
to cultivate.
Number of People
- This practice can be very helpful when done alone or with just one other
person, and we find it becomes
noticeably more beautiful and transformational when more people practice
together. So far, the practice has worked wonderfully
with groups of up to 10 people, both in person and on the phone. We're guessing
that even larger groups could also work well.
Length of Time/Keeping Time
- It helps to have someone set a timer for however long the group wants to
practice, so that no one
has to watch a clock during their practice.
(Note: There is a lovely application for android phones
called "Zen Timer" ($1.95 one-time
cost) that offers
a variety of bell and chime sounds, any duration, and chimes at the start and/or
end of the selected time. Similar
applications are available for iPhones as
well. Note that these applications only work when in person; for some mysterious
reason,
when used on a conference call, no one else can hear the chimes.)
Taking Turns - This can
be done in order around the circle, or it can be done "popcorn" style, where
people speak in any order,
whenever they're moved to. This works surprisingly well both in the phone groups
and in-person; people rarely talk over each other.
Creating a Connected, Safe
Space - Especially
when starting a new practice group, it's helpful to have a facilitator who most
people experience as openhearted and compassionate. For new groups, having each
person introduce themselves, perhaps sharing
a little about their past experience with meditation or stillness practices,
their healing journey, and/or what they like to do for fun/joy,
can help everyone feel welcome, connected, and safe.
Once a group is established, having each person "check in" by briefly sharing
whatever they need to say to get present and settled
is often enough to create a sense of connection for everyone. And, the Shared
WitnessingTM can itself serve as the "check-in."
(We've also begun using the Shared WitnessingTM process as the check-in for other
meetings of all kinds.)
Questions? In Need
of Support?
Call us 24 hours at
952-487-3896 (Minnesota) or 503-296-5456 (Portland), or
click here to email us. We're here to support you!
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